Category Archive : Resource

This saying often refers to if your house is clean and tidy then it will help you in being able to think more clearly too. However, what I’m wondering is, if your house is not tidy, how much do you mind and how does this impact you?

Let me be honest. My house is not tidy, it rarely is. Having a toddler and a dog plus my hubby and I working full time, keeping things sorted is an ongoing challenge. We’re lucky that we have weekends altogether; not everyone has that luxury.

What that means is at weekends we tend to be out doing activities and spending time together as a family. I choose to prioritise that over making my house tidy. In the week there are times when I prioritise something else too, that some of you may find truly shocking…myself.

I do my best to sit down and have lunch everyday. It doesn’t have to be a long lunch, but my little one is at nursery and it’s rare to have that quiet times. At weekends I try to have a few minutes when he’s asleep to prioritise me too. I choose to do this, rather than use this time to tidy my house because for me I feel it’s a better use of my time. You can’t pour from an empty cup so they say!

Choosing to accept that my house won’t be totally tidy, is for me, ok. Recognising and accepting this reduces the pressure I feel from the mounting to do list I can so easily create.

I practice gratitude. Those crumbs on the floor under the highchair? That’s ok, they can be sorted later, in this moment they don’t matter. I’m just grateful that I have a family to feed and food to feed them with. The lawn that needs mowing? Well I’m grateful that I have the privilege of outside space that’s my very own to maintain.

This weekend I was catching up with a friend. My house was untidy, my little boy had gotten his toys out everywhere and my dog was shedding hair too! I could have chosen not to have invited my friend over to prevent any fear of judgement. However I chose to invite her over and we enjoyed some time catching up, it didn’t matter about everything else, only reinforcing to me what my personal priorities are.

There is always a lot of pressure from external sources, the phrase ‘house embarrassment’ springs to mind and ‘Insta-worthy’ photo’s of rooms or perfect storage solutions can easily be found. However the best thing I can recommend to help you as a busy mum is just to consider for a moment what your priorities are.

Of course, a happy balance is always likely the best answer. I’d love to hear from you where you feel you sit? Does having a tidy house give you a tidy mind? Or does having a tidy house mean you’ve been under more pressure and missed out on other things?

If you feel that you are struggling with your ‘to do list’ and are getting overwhelmed, perhaps it’s time to consider ways in which you can look after yourself and keep your composure.

To find out how I can help do get in touch.

Isn’t it funny, I bet that after simply reading the title of this blog you have a picture in your head of a purple frog or a unicorn? We just can’t help ourselves! Now, if I say to you “don’t think of a purple frog” what do you notice? You still think of a purple frog right!? At least until you realise that you’re not supposed to be thinking of one so you change the image, perhaps to a different colour or animal. So what does this tell us?

The short answer is that the unconscious mind cannot process negatives. What this means is whatever you want to achieve, you must frame that goal as what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

I remember as a child I once got told ‘don’t touch the iron, it’s hot’. So instinctively I wanted to do nothing more than go and touch the iron… I did…it was hot!! Now having an understanding of the unconscious mind, a better instruction would have been surrounding the desired behaviour, such as ‘please continue playing with your toy’.

Whether you are working within management and providing an instruction to a team member, a parent to child or setting your own goals they must be correctly worded so there is no misunderstanding between your conscious self, and your unconscious self.

Here are some examples of negatively worded commands and how you can switch them so they serve you better:

  • I don’t want to waste my money – I need to use my money wisely
  • I don’t want to be stressed out – I need to be calm
  • I don’t want to work in this job anymore – I need to gain a more fulfilling job
  • Don’t forget to put the bins out – Remember to put the rubbish out
  • I can’t be late – I need to be on time
  • I can’t make a noise – I need to be quiet
  • Don’t walk on the grass – Stay on the path

It’s simple but effective – just trying asking for what you actually want and you might be amazed by the impact this could have!

If you want to be one of the first to hear more simple tips sign up to receive the Tidal Coaching eNewsletter and receive a free mini guide on Composure. 

If you require expert support such as when suffering a mental health crisis, please remember there are a wealth of organisations and experts that can help.

Below is a list of useful contacts*:

Anxiety UK

Charity providing support if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.

Phone: 03444 775 774 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 10pm; Saturday to Sunday, 10am to 8pm)


Bipolar UK

A charity helping people living with manic depression or bipolar disorder.



CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15 to 35.

Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)


Men’s Health Forum

24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.


Mental Health Foundation

Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.



Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.

Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)


No Panic

Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Offers a course to help overcome your phobia or OCD.

Phone: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am to 10pm). Calls cost 5p per minute plus your phone provider’s Access Charge


OCD Action

Support for people with OCD. Includes information on treatment and online resources.

Phone: 0845 390 6232 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5pm). Calls cost 5p per minute plus your phone provider’s Access Charge



A charity run by people with OCD, for people with OCD. Includes facts, news and treatments.

Phone: 0333 212 7890 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm)



Young suicide prevention society.

Phone: HOPELINEUK 0800 068 4141 (Monday to Friday, 10am to 10pm, and 2pm to 10pm on weekends and bank holidays)


Rethink Mental Illness

Support and advice for people living with mental illness.

Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm)



Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.

Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)



Emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers. 

SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (daily, 4.30pm to 10.30pm)

Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most:

Peer support forum:



Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.

Phone: Parents’ helpline 0808 802 5544 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm)


Abuse (child, sexual, domestic violence)


Children’s charity dedicated to ending child abuse and child cruelty.

Phone: 0800 1111 for Childline for children (24-hour helpline)

0808 800 5000 for adults concerned about a child (24-hour helpline)



Advice on dealing with domestic violence.

Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)


Alcoholics Anonymous

Phone: 0800 917 7650 (24-hour helpline)


National Gambling Helpline

Phone: 0808 8020 133 (daily, 8am to midnight)


Narcotics Anonymous

Phone: 0300 999 1212 (daily, 10am to midnight)


*Sourced from: (July 2020)