Category Archive : Uncategorized

Thank you

I’m willing to bet that you say thank you on a regular basis. Thanks to someone holding a door open, thanks to someone for passing you an item, thanks for someone letting you go at a junction. However, when was the last time you said thank you to yourself?

There are so many things that you do for yourself that you probably don’t even take the time to acknowledge. Here are some examples:

  • Thank you for taking the time to feed yourself
  • Thank you for wearing clothes that keep you warm
  • Thank you allowing yourself a moment to watch your favourite show
  • Thank you for giving yourself some time to go outside for some fresh air

I bet that you may not take the time to thank yourself, but you’ll take the time to critique or question yourself instead! Why?

How we talk to ourselves it important. I mean, super, important.

We want to be right, I mean we all like to be right. Why? It feels great! So we looking for things that reinforce our beliefs. Let me give you an example. You might think that you are useless at maths. Therefore every time anything maths related comes up you think oh I can’t do that, I remember that time when I miscalculated and got the answer wrong. Every time you make a maths related error you think ‘yep that’s because I’m rubbish at maths’. However, there will be times when you will get an answer correct, but of course, you think that’s just down to luck…because you believe you’re rubbish at maths.

By always looking for the things that reinforce your belief, rather than challenge it, you create a cycle. You thoughts lead to words, which lead to actions i.e. avoiding anything you have to use maths. These actions become a habit, and part of your character and this impacts upon the choices you make. Such as a job you may take or a situation you may avoid. All because you are providing fuel to your negative belief, rather than being kind to yourself and allowing yourself to acknowledge the wins too.

Therefore, I want you to be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the wins, say thank you to yourself for all the small things – and challenge your negative thoughts.

If you want to discuss how you can better support yourself do just get in touch to arrange a free no obligation chat.

Lockdown has brought a lot of pressure in so many different ways. There may now be some light at the end of the tunnel with an estimated end date to lockdown. However, have you been left feeling under pressure to have ‘achieved’ something whilst you’ve been stuck at home?

Please remember that you have all achieved something! For some it’s been balancing home schooling and work. For others just simply keeping going and getting dressed or stepping outside has been a challenge.

With potential new changes on the way it’s perfectly ok to feel nervous or scared, remember that all your emotions are valid. However, don’t let them stop you going for what it is you want to accomplish.

If you want to go for something but are perhaps struggling with the confidence or are feeling anxious in taking that first step, here are some things you can try.

Positive Affirmations
These are helpful statements that you have chosen yourself that will help you overcome negative thought patterns. Repeat your statements over and over again to help create new pathways in your brain to amend your thinking and actions.

Statements must be in the first person and present tense. For example “I am excellent at staying calm under pressure” or “I am excited about trying new things”.

Breathing techniques
There are lots of different breathing techniques to try but a simple one is just to practise breathing consciously.

Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth for a count of 5 seconds each way if you can. Focus on the movements of your body expanding and contracting. Repeat several times and you will start to feel more in control of your emotions.

Practice grounding techniques
When we believe a threat is present is a chain of events is triggered by our amygdala, the area of a brain responsible for our emotional responses. This results in physical changes taking place, such as an increase in our heartbeat and us breathing quicker. Consequently, our brain believes there is a threat, the cycle continues and we get more emotionally overwhelmed.

Grounding techniques are a useful way to change your focus to the present moment and can be utilised in order to break this cycle.

Try wriggling your toes, this can be done discretely so it’s a great tip to try when you’re out and about. Focus on the movement of each toe and what they can feel. Are the hot/cold? Touching something soft or hard?

Alternatively try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. List five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste.

If you want to find out more about the various techniques I used to keep calm and composed check out the full composure toolkit that is available to download now.

How flexible are you? Don’t worry, I’m not talking about if you can touch your toes or do the downward dog! How flexible are you mentally and in your behaviour?

One of the key premises of NLP is regarding flexibility. It is stated that the person with the most flexibility controls the system. What this is referring to is how flexible you are in your approach and the decisions you make. Ultimately you are unable to control anyone else’s actions or external events that take place, however, what you can do is choose how you react to them.

A quote that you may recognise helps to sum this up.

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.”

Behaving in a flexible manner provides more interactions, more opportunities and ultimately allows you to have a greater impact.

For example, if you are attending a work meeting and you have a great idea to put forward to your team but previously when your idea has been presented you have received a lot of resistance, then it might be time to consider different options. This doesn’t have to mean completely changing your idea, perhaps begin with just considering the way in which you present it. It may be that your team are very visual and need to see your idea in order to truly understand the benefits, so if you have just spoken with them about your idea before they may not realise the concepts fully and that is why you are encountering the resistance.

Next time you are in a difficult situation or conversation be sure to ask yourself what you can do differently and you may just get a better outcome!